29Putting your towel around you neck and pretending to be superman
Or putting a blanket around your neck…loved the Zealand polo tourny!
I’ve never really understood the thing with Valentine’s Day. If you love someone, don’t you love that person all the time? Not more because it is February 14. If I was with someone I would appreciate a gift or a box of chocolates so much more if I didn’t get it on Valentine’s Day.
It just feels so very forced.And thats why I think Valentines Day is lame, pathetic and unnecessary.
How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do? And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn’t have any substance after all?
Like when you’ve split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel. The problem is, they never do. “Plenty more fish in the sea,” they’ll say, or “You’re better off without them,” or “Do you want some of these potato chips?” They never really understand, because they haven’t been there, every day, every hour. They don’t know the way things have been, the way that it’s made you, the way it has structured your world. They’ll never realise that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world. They don’t understand the history, the background, don’t know the pillars of memory that hold you up. Ultimately, they don’t know you well enough, and they never can. Everyone’s alone in their world, because everybody’s life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live.
Unless you love them. And then they can burn it down.
”(Source: myquotelibrary, via myquotelibrary)
Why does everyone lie, about everything? Some people lie and say there’s nothing going on between them and another person when clearly there is. Some people lie about their sexuality. Apparently people lie when they say “I do” and everyone lies when they promise to love you forever.
A few thoughts on my never-resting mind…
What makes us become who we are? Is it the friends we make when we are kids? Is it the classes we take in high school? Is it what we decide to major in when we go to college or who we decide to spend the rest of our lives with? Im starting to believe that maybe its all of those things…and maybe its none of them, too.
All throughout life we are handed opportunity after opportunity. Some we take and others we turn down. So which of those is the one that shapes who we become? The opportunities we take? Or the ones we do not? Is it really the person we end up with that molds the people we are meant to be or is it the one who got away? What if we were meant to be something other than what we decide to major in? What if I am not supposed to be a doctor? What if I am supposed to be with someone from my past instead of someone from my future?
I get the feeling that just living through another day is a sign of pure luck. I rolled the dice when I got out of bed in the morning and through a series of lucky choices throughout my day I managed to make it right back into that very same bed the next night. Some people call it fate, some call it destiny. I am still trying to find my work for it. I dont like the idea that someone had predetermined my life. Too many bad things have happened to me and to everyone else for someone to have predetermined it. And if they have, let me assure you, they have a very cruel sense of humor. It all makes me wonder though, when I have kids, what will I tell them? Will I tell them that God has a plan for them? While the fact is entirely comforting how am I supposed to know that? Am I supposed to pretend that I do know or am I supposed to tell them that this is what I have been told so this is what I am going to tell you. Am I supposed to allow my child to be a sheep? Or will they have the burning desire to gain as much knowledge on their own as possible? WIll they find the answers for themselves, the ones that bring them to the highest level of peace they can reach? I want them to find a passion for life. I want them to find whatever it is their soul yearns for and chase after it with everything they have in them.
I dont have all the answers yet. I am almost certain that I never will. But they say you learn something new everyday. So hopefully that means I am on the right track.
We were just kids then. We didn’t really understand fully the meaning of heart break and of love. Oh sure, we thought that we did. But looking back now on everything that we have been through, the good and the bad, we didn’t really know much of anything at all. And while it seemed so hard when we were there, to look back now makes me laugh. If only we knew how hard life would get but at the same time how wonderful it would be at times too. We used to worry about what dress we wanted to wear to homecoming or wether or not our classes gave us the maximum amount of time in the halls with our significant others. Now we are planning what we want our engagement rings to look like and the best way to ease into living with your significant other full time. Boys are no longer someone we think is cute and maybe good at water polo. They have become men that we want to build a family with. Someone who eases our troubled minds and make us see the good in the world again. They are our rocks. And friends are no longer the girls you go shopping with and have endless sleepovers with. They are now the ones you turn to when the rocks arent there for you to lean on. They give you advice on relationships and life.
Sometimes I feel like when I was in High school and everything seemed so hard, its like that was just preparing me for real life. It was hard then and I learned to be tough until it wasnt hard anymore. Just in time for me to be thrown into a life that was even harder than that. So here I am working to be tough until its not hard anymore. And I am sure that that will be just in time for life to throw me yet another curve ball. Thats the funny thing about life. Just when you think that you have it all figured out, another door opens and you suddenly see this place you never even knew existed. And everything you thought you knew suddenly opens up into a million things youve never even considered. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have my life truly figured out. Does it ever get easier?
(Source: blog.myspacelyts.net, via anyasquotes)
(via myquotelibrary)
